Dear class,
Not to be a Grinch, but let's not clog up the airwaves with birthday greetings to all and sundry. The Smiths?--well, I can get behind a tribute to Morrissey and good old Johnny Marr (though I don't remember anyone called Hayden, and certainly not Addison or, god forbid, Lisa. That's strictly Simpsons territory).
Anyway, this ain't Facebook, so now that we've paid our birthday tributes, let's get back to literature.
Yours truly,
JD
p.s.: no comments required
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No comments required, but if we do decide to post a comment, maybe a special prize is in order? Like, say, a balloon, or perhaps some...oh, I don't know, extra credit?
That's actually a pretty tough choice...I think I might actually go for the balloon in this scenario. It would depend on if it's full of air or helium though. A balloon filled with air just isn't worth sacrificing a few points of extra credit for. A balloon filled with helium, however; now that's good times just waiting to be had. With the helium-filled balloon, you could tie it to your wrist or backpack and be the envy of all Westview for the day. Then after the final bell rings, if you felt so inclined and had the finger dexterity required, you might untie the knot and amuse your friends by filling your vocal cords with the low density gas and speaking in the high, squeaking pitch of a hamster.
Another factor up for consideration would be the color of the balloon. A bright red balloon would be lovely, and with only 98 more of them you have to perfect excuse to start singing 99 Luftballons as you wander through the halls. Of course green is always an acceptable color choice, and I wouldn't say no to a fine yellow either. The regal history of purple could be an attractive color choice, depending on my mood. Some days it's a good color, other days, not so much. Same goes for orange. Meanwhile, majestic royal blue or the authoritative navy blue balloon would certainly command the attention of any who might happen to catch a glimpse of it as I meander through the school.
(If you were waiting for the part where I do some hard-core brown-nosing, well, this is it). The perfect balloon would be one with scenes from Hamlet displayed proudly 'round the circumference. The balloon would of course have to be extra large so that everyone might see. Beneath each image would be a quote; "Seems, madam? Nay, it is. I know not seems," "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark," "Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love," "To be, or not to be: that is the question," "I must be cruel, only to be kind," "One woe doth tread upon another's heel, so fast they follow," "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him Horatio," "Sweets to the sweet: farewell!" And this miraculous balloon would be filled with neither helium nor air, but with the power and emotion of Shakespearian verse! Such a balloon would threaten to carry even the strongest of men up, up into the deep blue heavens, only to be returned to earth and reality when those words had run their course. Yes, that is the balloon for me. A balloon made for the sole purpose of harnessing Hamlet and escaping into the world of Shakespeare.
But now it is late, and I must sleep (after reading Hamlet for the 231st time). I shall make my departure from the blog now, leaving behind these last words:
"Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet prince,
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!"
-William Shakespeare, Hamlet 5.2
P.S. I didn't realize how much I wrote, so, haha, sorry about that. I guess I got kind of carried away. But seriously, it's pretty late, and I've got two AP tests tomorrow, so...goodnight...for real this time.
Mr Putnam, I have observed several flaws in your logic. We must take into account all of the pointy objects in Westview, and how at any random instance in time, one may find that said objects have a trajectory towards your balloon, thus dispersing the helium throughout the school. If you had enough helium in said balloon, all persons within a certain radius would subsequently have squeaky voices. Have you ever been in a school full of squeaky people? I have. It is not in the least enjoyable.
You obviously do not have the gift that Prometheus was so proud of. If we take into account that Nena sang 99 Luftballoons, but Goldfinger as well did a cover, we can draw a parallel between that and the "Just Got Paid". Originally by ZZ Top, this great track was covered industrial-style by Ministry. Cross-referencing this with your dislike for dirty vocals with even grittier instrumentation, we can trace back our analogies and notice that you may in fact NOT prefer a red balloon in years to come. You obviously did not consider that kings are assassinated, so this most certainly rules out the a purple color.
I have completed my analysis, and will now leave the rest unto you.
Okay, okay, so maybe I'll delay sleep just a tad bit longer. I feel I must explain myself to this...this naysayer!
First, I felt it would be obvious that all of the balloons I mentioned would have anti-pointy object barriers, as well be made from pointy-stuff resistant materials. Evidently it was not obvious enough for Mr. Cornea, so I will state it more explicitly: pointy objects are of no concern to the balloons. There is no risk from pointy objects. Therefore we are in no danger of winding up in a school filled with squeaky people.
As for your analysis of my choice in color, I maintain that red would be an excellent choice. The parallel you draw, while amusing to read about and contemplate, has no bearing on whether or not 99 Luftballons is an enjoyable song to sing. Frankly, I am a bit surprised you did not mention the difficulties I might face in singing a song entirely in German. You must also notice that, while I considered purple as a possible color choice, I discounted it as undesirable in comparison to the various hues of blue that might be selected.
You also seem to have completely disregarded the Hamlet balloon I spoke of in my fourth paragraph. This is clearly my preferred choice of balloon, and yet you have no argument against it. In any case, I believe you are missing the overall point of my speech; that I would prefer a fine artisan balloon in lieu of extra credit.
Please, if you require any further clarification, don't hesitate to inquire.
The happy birthdays made the blog more personal. It gave spirit to the blog. Diminishing personal touches with overpowered formal literary discussions doesn't create anything interesting.
[during lunch today, for instance, my friends talked about Shakespeare's different works and which we preferred and why some things were good or ridiculous. the conversation overall was silly, but a better silly than feeling like a pompous show-off.]
Personal things lead to more comfort and courage. Like you have notice Mr. Duncan, the entire class, except for a select few, don't say much; I know I don't say anything in class. Perhaps our class should be more of a Class rather than a class.
and I don't really have a Facebook account?
I forgot to mention that the other blogs are way more personal. Examples:
One of Ms. Minor's kids posted some youtube videos about Harry Potter.
Mr. Hardin's blog has silly video comments.
I agree with Lisa. I think giving birthday greetings the boot is rather strict, especially considering the content of the otehr blogs, and both birthday reminders were for people in the class.
If Thanh wants to take the time to write out some kind birthdya messages, why not let her? They didn't push down any class blog entries that weren't already over and done with. I'm not saying I support random YouTube videos or posts about how someone spilled milk all over the table at lunch, but birthdays of classmates? I don't see the harm.
Why are you guys up at 2/3 in the morning?!?!
in response to mathews comment on singing 99 luftballons, i personally prefer singing in german to english. and i agree that red is a good colour for balloons- very classic. it depends on the colour of the string. prevably the string should be a complimentary colour, but red and green would be way to christmasy so i would go for red balloon red string. and i also agree withe michelle on that maybe you should sleep sometime.
Ah, but you see, I assume you've taken German classes. I, on the other hand, have been taking Japanese for the past four years. So, singing in German is a tad bit more difficult for me than you. While I could sing it, most of the words would most likely be butchered versions of what they were. I do prefer the German version to the English version of the song, I just said it would be tough for me to sing. Oh and, it is December. I don't think a red balloon with green string would be too out of place.
Oh, and, haha, I sleep when I get sleepy. I don't force it. In my defense I still got to school about 15 minutes early today.
Hey Matt, do you have some kind of addiction to balloons? You should have told me! I can tell you all about them you know, as I once was a quote unquote lead sales customer service helper director technician at party city.
At party city you can find an impressive display of balloons ranging in all shapes and all sizes. You can get latex or mylar. Latex usually 6-8 hours while mylar balloons last about 3-5 days, though I did hear this rumor from a fellow worker's brother's cousin's friend's physics teacher's son that one lasted a week! Latex are a mere 50 cents each with helium, but there's a great deal going right now 5.99 for 12...snag it before it's gone, you do save a penny! Mylar tend to be a little more expensive because of how long they last and their size and decoration. You can get the small spherical mylars that say all kinds of things for 2-3 dollars, or the big mylars that are the shapes of characters from your favorite movies and stuff, and they go for about 8-12 dollars. You can also get the inside of your latex balloons sealed with a new breakthrough gel that traps the helium in the balloon longer and keeps it afloat longer! It's called highfloat and it will cost you an extra 30 cents for each helium balloon you want it in. I'm afriad you can't get high float put into mylar balloons, as they already last so long! The high float will increas the 6-8 hour period of the latex balloons to an impressive, yet expensive, 2-3 day period.
Are you looking to decorate the balloons you buy? Party city has a fabulous amount of decorations to spice up your balloon for that special someone. You can buy lettered stickers and spell out like, "Happy Birthday Ingrid" or maybe "Chainsaw FTW" (I think matt will only get that one 0.0) Though they are nice, the stickers cost 50 cents each. You can also get a weight to put on your balloon to keep it from flying away, because that would be very, very bad.
So that's all I know about balloons Matt, if you have any questions let me know.
Mr Putnam, please prepare yourself for an anti-counter-retort, which shall commence thusly (thusly, mind you, is not the same as thisly or even similar to thatly).
You provide that the balloons have anti-pointed object barriers, yet you bring forth no sources. We may thusly proceed to say that this evidence is falsified.
You obviously have not taken Parallel Analysis 204C, Semester II. You have completely disregarded the fact that, in my analysis of how Ministry is industrial, I was also speaking of the Germans. Industrial music started with a lot of angry German people banging on pipes and using jackhammers for no apparent reason. Thus, I have not only touched upon the point of how difficult to sing in German is, but have also professed the difficulty of singing with a mob of angry Germans with pipes and jackhammers. It is also apparent that you have not done in-depth research of colors. I have spent millions of dollars in research grants and over twenty thousand hours determining the similarities between purple and blue, and have found, using mathematical induction and integration of biomedical tissue mass, that they are exactly the same.
For your penultimal argument, it is hardly an argument, but a mere pointing-out that I refused to touch upon a matter so byzantine as that of Hamlet. To bring balloons upon the realm of Shakespeare is to blaspheme the mightiest of the literary gods.
I do believe you have thusly been righteously deuced.
Mr. Cornea, after much research and an intense period of trial and error experimentation, 4 out of 5 dentists agree that you're just jealous I get a balloon and you don't.
... wow i really want a balloon right now after all that
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