Today is your 18th birthday and you're spending it at home. Sick. Unable to leave your house. Burdened by missed homework and tests. Constantly coughing and blowing your nose. Weak. Kept away from the general public.
Well then, here's to adulthood!
:)
I personally expected credit card companies to hound me. Surveyors of things I have no relation to. Spontaneous lottery buying. Trips to restricted places and purchases of restricted things.
But nope! Nothing.
Nothing except the sweet feeling of knowing, "Hey. I'm older than you and that makes me soo much cooler. Plus I don't have curfew or the THIS RESIDENT TURNS 18 ON (DATE) message on my ID card. I can vote and carry out the Second Amendment. My parents don't need to be with me when I get prescriptions. I can sign documents on my own. If I wanted to own my property I could. Could get as many body piercings and tattoos as I want. Not need a stinkin' permit. Hell, I'm 18! 18! 18! 18! 18! 18!"
18 is definitely better than 17 or 19. They're super lame prime numbers. Multiples of 2, 3, 4, 6, 9 screams awesome.
Just like how you scream awesome Matt. Happy happy birthday!
[It's about time Julian Bartholomew Chau-Putnam's father reached a proper, respectable age. jeeeeeez]
Ode to Matthew Putnam:
ReplyDeleteI have a friend, I know him well
For him I would even go through hell!
Okay well maybe not really,
But at least his name isn't Billy.
His birthday is in March,
A fine month to be born in
I would break my back in an arch
To have his luck to be born in March
As this ode continues slowly,
I notice that I am somewhat belated
I hope Mr Putnam will not have anger
In his head so inflated
I do not wish to offend Dear Sir
For his birthday is the most special day
Let's sing him Happy Birthday
Sing it all the way
With him, music I have shared
Metal, ska, indie, classical, rap
How good it is to have a friend
In this age of crap
He talks to you when you need him
He listens when others won't
Maybe he doesn't want to
But you won't hear him moan(t).
He is Matt Putnman, an adult now
Smoking, naughty images, and plastic
He probably won't do any of these
Because he's fantastic.
Ode to Matt Putnam
A great figure of a student
As a friend, scholar, person
You'll find none more ardent.
I thought the Ode to Matthew was a great poem. The author uses outstanding metaphors to convey his themes to the reader. Mr. Cornea constructed a new kind of rhyming scheme, where he merely inputs words only for the sole purpose of keeping rhythm. Like for instance Billy, in the last line of the first stanza, this word makes no sense, it's completely useless actually, but if you notice, it rhymes with really, thus, the poem is brilliant, please dont as where i drew this conclusion from, just..go with it. This is definitely the best poem ive read in the last several days, and let me make myself clear, ive read one poem in the last several days.
ReplyDeleteThat's a nice idea, Scott, but I think it's clear that the speaker of the poem is expressing his ambiguity toward religion and modern society. Putnam, of course, was Achilles' middle name, so the reference to Putnam refers to the flaws that plague us all.
ReplyDeleteyou know, the reference to hell clearly means that the ode is all just one big metaphor for jesus. oh, and I like how the author used a lot of diction.
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ReplyDeleteSee?? Doesn't the name Bartholomew just follow you everywhere?
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday kiddops, you deserve every single wish you get when you blow out those birthday candles. That's assuming that you had cake. And candles. That had a little flame on each of them. Haha, but then assuming isn't really a smart thing is it? So just make a random wish, because it is your birthday. Or was your birthday.
O I can't really call you kiddops anymore can I? More like, "sir" or "mister" dang. You are gonna sound OOOOOLLLLLLLDDDDD. BUUUT, that's alright, we all adore you whether you're young and skinny or old and flabby. Enjoy being 18!